HONESTY.

I want everybody to look at me

I want everybody wanting to be me

I want everybody admiring me

I want everybody saying I am the best damn thing

Evrything that i feel for you I want to be

Every word that comes from your mouth seems like wisdom to me

How can a person be like this

How can somebody have such a power over me

Over my thoughts, over my actions, over my will

How can this be love?

There’s nothing good to it

I´ve completely forgot about myself

‘cause you’re like a god to me

unvoluntarely worshipping every part of your being

And not even complaining about it

About the consequences, about the lack of self-respect, whatever you want to hear

It’s true Im down on your knees

A WAKE UP OBSESSION

Let’s forget I’m not your type

Let’s pretend I’m one of a kind

Just let’s do that so we can be one

I just love you, adore you,

You have the power to make me awake

Even if it’s 3.40 am

I can´t get enough of you

I hate myself for being so into you

It’s sickness, can you feel it?

Let’s just pretend you do,

So I can go on with this lie

Let’s forget I’m not that smart

That I don´t even know how to

Put a straight face when my world

Is tumbling down

Let’s pretend everything is alright

Let’s forget you wont ever love me

Like i deserve to be loved

But alter all this, is said

But after all this is sad
After all this your perfection hurts, it annoys

After all, I won’t forget yesterday

How can I since I’m not the same(I didn’t even knew who I was then anyway)

I won’t pretend, eventhough I want to.

Let’s get together, pretend.

I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS

My eyes fill with hopeless tears

My body aches, I feel so old

I think and try to feel that man

The man that can heal me

That can reach my mind and like water

Burn out the  fire that consumes and kills

Will i let him love me

Just bring him to me so I can find out

Maybe he will be the answer, I want him to be

My mind let the fears aside to that can happen

If it’s only for a second

Let him put his hand on my chest, so it will remains

Only for a day, leave him only for a day.

A memory I can hold on to

Because with myself I fear it’s not enough

Can he see the real me?

THIS MORNING. 2.10 am

Give me some sounds

So I can hear my yelling in disguise

Give me the morning so I can get up

And feel death crawling as I walk

Give the yawning so I can pretend sleepiness

To intermitently lose my head in the middle of the infinite darkness of the room my mind has created.

Give me a body to love and worship

To then tore into pieces gradually and with intencional cruelty

Give me some words so I can find some clarity in this destroyed throat

That can’t even understand what it’s voice says

Give me a voice so it can sing beautifully

But  not let be a connection between what the head thinks and it sound

Give me a bright mind

To do every mistake possible

Give me freedom

So I can get stuck in one place to feel thay way

Give me people

So I can feel alienated, different and overlooked